Piss

subs. (vulgar).—Urine. Also as verb. = to urinate. Combinations are many: thus, PISSER = (1) the penis, and (2) the female pudendum; PISS-BOWL (or POT) = a chamber pot; PISS-BURNT = stained with urine; PISS-MAKER = one given to much liquor; PISS-PROPHET (or KNIGHT OF THE PISS-POT = a pot-inspecting physician; PISS-POT HALL = (see quot. 1785); PISS-FACTORY = a public house; PISSING-POST (or PISS-DALE) = a urinal; PISS-FIRE = a blusterer; PISS-KITCHEN = a kitchen-maid: PISS-PROUD = of a false erectio penis; PISS-QUICK = hot gin-and-water (BEE, 1823); PISSING-CLOUT = a napkin; PISSING = small, mean, brief, as in PISSING-WHILE = a very short time; PISSING-CONDUIT = a conduit with a flow of water like a stream of urine: specifically one near the Royal Exchange set up by John Wels (Lord-mayor, 1430); PISSING-CANDLE = a small make-weight candle; RODS IN PISS = a reckoning in store; TO PISS PURE CREAM (or PINS AND NEEDLES) = to be clapped (GROSE); TO PISS WHEN ONE CAN’T WHISTLE = to be hanged (GROSE); TO PISS MONEY AGAINST THE WALL = to spend money in drink (GROSE); TO PISS DOWN THE BACK = to flatter (GROSE); TO PISS ON A NETTLE = to be peevish or angry; WHEN THE GOOSE PISSETH = never; AS GOOD AS EVER PISSED = as good as may be; TO PISS IN A QUILL = to agree on a course of action; PISS-A-BED = a dandelion: with reference to its diuretic properties; “SO DRUNK THAT HE OPENED HIS SHIRT COLLAR TO PISS” = blind drunk; “the tin-whiffin” = when you cannot sh-t for PISSING; TO PISS HARD (BONES, or CHILDREN) = to be brought to bed; TO PISS BLOOD (URQUHART) = to bleed; TO PISS ONE’S TALLOW = to sweat. Also not a few saws and proverbs—‘As easy PISSING a bed as to lick a dish’; ‘As good (or, as very a knave) as ever PISSED’; ‘As surly as if he had PISSED on a nettle’; ‘By fits and starts as the hog PISSETH’; ‘Every little helps as the old woman said when she PISSED in the sea’; ‘Fire! quoth the fox, when he PISSED on the ice’; ‘He did me as much good as if he had PISSED in my pottage’; ‘He who once a good name gets, May PISS a bed and say he sweats’; ‘Let her cry, she’ll PISS the less’; ‘PISS clear and defy the physician’; ‘PISS not against the wind,’ or ‘He that PISSETH against the wind wets his shirt’; ‘He’d have died had he never PISSED or shit’; ‘Money will make the pot boil though the devil PISS in the fire’; ‘Many excuses PISSES the bed’; ‘My horse PISSETH whey, My man PISSETH amber: My horse is for my way, My man is for my chamber’; ‘The devil shits and PISSES on a great heap’; ‘Such a reason PISSES my goose’; ‘You’ll be good when the goose PISSETH’; ‘He that’s afraid of every grass must not PISS in a meadow.’ See RACK-OFF.

  1356.  MANDEVILLE, Travels, 242. The moste Synne that ony man may do is to PISSEN in hire Houses that thei dwellen in.

  1362.  LANGLAND, Piers Plowman’s Vision, l. 3169. He PISSED a potel · in a pater-noster while.

  1383.  CHAUCER, The Canterbury Tales, ‘The Milleres Tale’ [SKEAT, Works, 3798].

  1440–99.  BLIND HARRY, Maner of Crying [LAING, Early Popular Poetry of Scotland, ii. 14].

  1525.  TYNDALE, Tr. Bible, 1 Sam. xviii. 22. If I leave by the morning light any that PISSETH against the wall.

  d. 1529.  SKELTON, The Tunnynge of Elynoure Rummynge, 370.

  1539.  LYNDSAY, Ane Pleasant Satyre of the Thrie Estaitis, II. p. 98, line 1924.

  1539.  PALSGRAVE, Langue Francoyse. But A PYSSYNGE WHYLE, tant quon auroyt pisse, or ce pendant. Ibid., subst. f. 66. Stale, PYSSE, escloy.

  c. 1541.  The Schole-house of Women, 22 [HAZLITT, Remains of the Early Popular Poetry of England, IV. 113].

  1551.  STILL, Gammer Gurton’s Needle, iv. 1 [DODSLEY, Old Plays, ii. 50]. He shal never be at rest, one PISSING WHILE a day.

  1554.  UDALL, The Apophthegmes of Erasmus, 25. She [Xantippe] beyng moche the more incensed, by reason of her housbandes [Socrates’] quietnesse and stilnesse, powred doune a PISSE BOLLE vpon hym out of a windore.

  c. 1555.  The Vpcheringe of the Messe 96. [quoted in DYCE, Skelton, i. cxxxi.]. Alacke, for payne I PYSSA.

  1576.  T. NEWTON, tr. Lemnius’s The Touchstone of Complexions, 99. Manye men … take the matter in as greate snuffe, as they would, to be Crowned wyth a PYSSEBOLLE.

  1594.  SHAKESPEARE, 2 Henry VI., iv. 6. I charge and command, that, of the cities cost, the PISSING-CONDUIT run nothing but claret wine this first year of our reign. Ibid. (1595), Two Gentlemen of Verona, iv. 4. He had not been there—bless the mark!—a PISSING while, but all the chamber smelt him.

  1598.  FLORIO, A Worlde of Wordes, s.v. Ciangola … Also a PISSE-POT. Ibid., Pisciatoio, a PISSING place … Also a PIS-POT.

  1598.  J. STOW, Survey of London, 144. Some distance west is the Royal Exchange—and so downe to the little conduit, called the PISSING-CONDUIT by the stockes market.

  1620.  FLETCHER, Women Pleas’d, i. 2. I shall turn PISSING-CONDUIT shortly [quoth a servant drenched with water].

  1623.  MABBE, The Spanish Rogue (1630), i. 240. Master Nicolao hath RODS IN PISSE for you…. And me thinks that he is plotting, how he may be reuenged of thee.

  1623.  WEBSTER, The Devil’s Law-case, ii. 1.

  1630.  TAYLOR (‘The Water Poet’), Workes [NARES]. On every PISSING-POST their names I’ll place.

  1632.  JONSON, The Magnetic Lady, i. 7. I shall entreat your mistress … to have patience, but a PISSING WHILE.

  1653.  URQUHART, Rabelais, I. v. The PISSING TOOL and urinal vessels shall have nothing of it. Ibid., xi. He PISSED in his shoes, shit in his shirt, and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

  1672.  LACY, The Dumb Lady, v. 1. The household … paid my worship with their PISSE-POTS out of the garret.

  1672.  WYCHERLEY, Love in a Wood, i. 2. That spark, who has his fruitless designs upon the bed-ridden rich widow, to the sucking heiress in her PISSING-CLOUT.

  1672.  RAY, Proverbs, 206. To stay a PISSING-WHILE.

  1676.  ETHEREGE, The Man of Mode, ii. 1. Old Bell. Out, a PISE of their Breeches. Idem, v. 2. Old Bell. Out, a PISE! (et passim).

  1678.  COTTON, Scarronides, or Virgil Travestie [Works (1725), 137].

  d. 1678.  MARVELL, Royal Resolutions, in Poems [MURRAY], 188.

  1682.  A. RADCLIFFE, The Ramble, 86.

  1694.  Poor Robin [NARES]. Each PISSING-POST will be almost pasted over with quacks bills.

  1706.  WARD, The Wooden World Dissected, 67. He crawls up upon Deck to the PISS-DALE. Ibid. (1709), The London Spy, i. 64. He had provided them a plentiful bowl of PISS.

  1714.  T. LUCAS, Memoirs of Gamesters, etc., 71. The Gentleman to shew his Honour, did stab the Negro, as he was PISSING at Temple Bar.

  1740.  R. NORTH, Examen, 70. So strangely did Papist and Fanatic or … the Anti-court Party PISS IN A QUILL; agreeing in all things that tended to create troubles and disturbances.

  d. 1745.  SWIFT, Miscellanies, “On the Discovery of the Longitude.” Now Ditton and Whiston may both be BE-PISSED on. [Et passim.]

  1749.  ROBERTSON OF STRUAN, Poems, 259. Thou drunken sot, go Home and spue, And PISS a Bed, as thou art wont.

  1772.  BRIDGES, A Burlesque Translation of Homer, III. 181.

  1785.  GROSE, A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, s.v. PISS-PROUD … The old fellow thought he had an erection, but his prick was only PISS-PROUD; said of any old fellow who marries a young wife. Ibid. PISS-BURNED, PISS-MAKER, and PISS-PROPHET. Ibid. PISS POT HALL. A house at Clapton, near Hackney, built by the potter chiefly out of the profits of chamber pots, in the bottom of which the portrait of Dr. Sacheverel was depicted.

  1821.  BYRON, Occasional Pieces (ed. 1840), p. 574, ‘Epitaph.’